1. To play homage to one of my Top Five movies of all time: High Fidelity.
Nick Hornby wrote quite the kickass book, and once I saw a not-so-sweet John Cusack play a character described as a male version of me, I started quoting immediately. I'd like to think I'm not as big a jerk as Rob, but I am, just in a different way. Our love of the film turned into me and a friend of mine sending Top Five lists via email all during my trip to Europe. Oh, and it would even be safe to say the broadway version of High Fidelity is in my top five musicals of all time, but that's not saying much. I'd likely slit my own throat before Sweeney Todd had a chance if you forced me to listen to showtunes. How Rob Gordon of me.
2. As this century's lame way to keep up with people I'm terrible about keeping up with.
A certain Texan will appreciate my ending that sentence with a preposition. How are you out there in the Lone Star state? How about all those people I know from Iowa? Because I've moved way too much, people are spread all over the country, and I'm the worst technological hermit ever. This is me overcoming a fear, people. Please add your Top Fives and comment so I can at least superficially know what's up with everyone.
3. Because I love procrastinating from real work.
I have laundry that's done right now but I'm just too lazy to go get it out of the dryer. It will probably be days before I bother to fold it. Besides, if I'm wandering around my house getting things done, I can't watch reruns of The Office on TBS. Why take down my Christmas tree or attempt to find a summer job?
4. This is me pretend-writing.
Look, I don't want to knock the personal publication thing that is the web, nor do I wish to alienate my fellow bloggers out there, but this is me not doing the writing I really want to be doing. I'm like those people who are always "on a diet." I come up with all sorts of fads and gimmicks when it comes to getting a book done, like using a tape recorder to dicatate to myself, and rearranging plot point notecards--the writing equivalent of Atkins and Alli. So here I am, acting like this is how I'll get an agent.
5. Sadly, this might be my legacy.
As my life passes, my new goal is to somehow make enough money that Brian and I might one day get a house in the north woods, never to leave our land again. We will order our groceries off the internet, and our only observations of the outside world will be delivered through our Netflix account. This is beyond keeping up with people, this is making sure our cats don't eat our remains. I know we're not that old, but if we keep spending all our time on different floors on our own computers, we'll never get any exercise, which leads to blood clots, which--when living in the middle of nowhere--leads to death due to less-than-the-best medical care and at least fifty miles between us and a hospital. I'm starting to understand why my friends started playing World of Warcraft in their suburban basement. Maybe we should stay in the city.